Where do those brief spells of inspiration go? It seems that the things which really drive me to create only come to me when I'm in no position to do so.
Writing is definitely the worst offender in this. I clearly remember twice yesterday during work, and several times the day before, where I thought, "now there's something to write about". I can still recall the meat of one, but it is empty of the enveloping need to create. Where does that passion go?
This is something which has bothered me since leaving school, and only gotten worse as my life has progressed further from the point when I could justify spending all day lounging around the house doing nothing but writing or painting when the mood struck me - and often painfully aware of my personal failings when there was no such creative outlet to keep my mind occupied. Especially when I was in school, I would grab those absurd thoughts and desires, and write as though possessed for the rest of the class, into the break, and often back into the next class. The words would pour out of me, unbound, uncensored, uncaring of their worth. The joy I felt afterwards, reading over something that I had created that was unique - if not all that good - was worth every consequence of ignoring the class. To be happy was a rare treat those days, and for it to be caused by my own hand...
Now it is often a struggle to write out more than a few lousy paragraphs, and even that may take me an hour. I grasp at words, ponder at my intentions, wonder at the thoughts of the reader... I would much prefer to write prolifically, as I did before, and return to each piece to weed out the garbage and malarky. Perhaps a good exercise would be to finally settle on editing, revising, and continuing the 82nd storyline?
Ah, and that brings us to the second issue, at which I've hinted already.
I know that a good deal of this reservedness is caused by my fear of the reader, which, in my case, is almost completely limited to my friends. This is a much larger pressure on me now than it was when I began writing. In fact, some of my early pieces may have been posted simply because I knew they were too much, and could not tell the difference between what I wanted to censor for my sake and what I thought I should censor for the sakes of others. I pushed such things out into the wilds of the internet because I was thumbing my nose at propriety, daring anyone to be offended. While that is a valid path in art, it is not necessarily what drives me, personally, and I feel it's disingenuous to act as though it does.
How to find that balance, between keeping true to oneself and hiding one's more unpleasant thoughts? Are a pseudonym or completely unbridled truth the only answers?
Curious that I jumped straight to that branch of the topic. My issue now is not that I'm worried about censoring myself, but rather that I'm simply embarrassed to write at all. The bits and pieces which I have worked on fitfully over the last year or two are certainly nothing divine. I won't be releasing them to accolades and fans starving for more. But why do I continually find myself embarrassed by what I can do?
At its core, this problem is one which I've heard from artists over and over again. You have certainly heard the opinion espoused before: "I am my own harshest critic." Especially when these moods strike. There is nothing you could say about my writing that would cause me surprise. This makes for an easy time reading critiques, but only because the negativity of what is said is already long present, a sopping-wet blanket carried on my shoulders at all times until the chill is familiar, if not pleasant.
How odd that this feeling of utter worthlessness prior to and during the process can still be somewhat tampered when looking back over a completed work. Like a blog post that began as frustratingly slapping at the keyboard, and turned into my most successful rambling in years.
Showing posts with label Hobbies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hobbies. Show all posts
80ish gallon Semi-Aquatic Lizard Tank
Well, I'm back! For the time being at least. I've spent some time at work lately putting together a setup for our water dragons, and I've actually been documenting it pretty well with pictures. So, here's my attempt at an informative Build Log.
If you're here from Tails and Scales' Facebook page, please keep in mind that the language in some (okay, most) of my other posts is not really kid-friendly. The opinions presented in my other posts are entirely my own; they do not represent Tails and Scales, nor Nelson.
Okay! Just wanted to get that out of the way...
It seems like a good idea to start this off with a list of materials. Keep in mind that most of this was scavenged, and that you could pretty easily switch most of the fiddly bits out.
If you're here from Tails and Scales' Facebook page, please keep in mind that the language in some (okay, most) of my other posts is not really kid-friendly. The opinions presented in my other posts are entirely my own; they do not represent Tails and Scales, nor Nelson.
Okay! Just wanted to get that out of the way...
It seems like a good idea to start this off with a list of materials. Keep in mind that most of this was scavenged, and that you could pretty easily switch most of the fiddly bits out.
Why Crickets are Dying and You Should Give a Shit
For once, the hot topic in the Canadian reptile feeder industry isn't debate over cockroaches; a more imminent problem has appeared within the last few months, and is now at a critical point. The aptly named "Cricket Paralysis Virus" tends to effect crickets in the pre-adult, or pre-wing stage, and does exactly what you would think: total paralysis resulting in death. There's no clearly defined vector for the virus, but there is plenty of speculation. Most seems to be centring around waxworms or those little beetle larvae, Dermestes ater, that hitch-hike harmlessly (we've always assumed) along with crickets. The virus spreads like delicious grape jelly (exceptionally well), and has wiped out the majority of cricket producers in the United States and Canada, leaving only a few farms scrambling to meet the pan-national demand.
Delayed NIW Post
Despite England's National Insect Week being over with, I'm going to present you with the final post I had in mind for last week. I claim unforeseen circumstances in not posting earlier, as my weekend was overflowing with shit I had to do, and my laptop was at Karen's until Tuesday night (the absence of which I actually appreciated, and has renewed my efforts at spending [wasting] a little less time online).
Without further lame excuses: cock-a-roaches!
Vermiposting
Having an interest in exotic pets alongside a reasonable concern for the environment more often than not leads to conflicting values. Thankfully, in one case I can indulge in my tree-huggeryness while satisfying my craving for invertebrates. Vermiposting (or vermicomposting) is using worms to do the dirty work of composting for you. It's easy, interesting, and educational if you have any young minds which need to be weaned off of the "bugs are icky" mentality.
National Insect Week
Despite my long absence, I haven't given up on this yet. I've been alternating between lazy, depressed, and high the last three weeks, but luckily I've stumbled across a good incentive to get back to it and maybe even finish a few partial posts rotting in the backlog.
This week (21-27) is apparently National Pollinators Week in the US. Well, pollinators don't really do much for me, but luckily England has done one better, and declared this National Insect Week. Obviously I'm nearly too late, but I see it as an excuse to write one or two posts at least.
I have much to say on spiders, particularly regarding my newest acquisition Latrodectus variolus, the Northern Black Widow spider. This is the most venomous species found in Canada (albeit rarely) -its native status meaning it is fully legal for me to keep. I'm on the hunt for a male, now.
This week (21-27) is apparently National Pollinators Week in the US. Well, pollinators don't really do much for me, but luckily England has done one better, and declared this National Insect Week. Obviously I'm nearly too late, but I see it as an excuse to write one or two posts at least.
I have much to say on spiders, particularly regarding my newest acquisition Latrodectus variolus, the Northern Black Widow spider. This is the most venomous species found in Canada (albeit rarely) -its native status meaning it is fully legal for me to keep. I'm on the hunt for a male, now.
The Great Butterworm Controversy
Within the reptile hobby in North America there are a few well established feeder insects. I mentioned most in an earlier post, but did not talk about butterworms. The reason I avoided butterworms is that, unfortunately, they are impossible to culture outside of Chile. More on that soon.
Butterworms, like all of the popular "worms" available as feeders, are actually the larval stage of an insect. In the case of butterworms the adult stage is the Chilean Moth, Chilecomadia moorei; they are also called the Trevo- and Tebro- worm (and even a few instances of Tebo- and Trebo), and are like silkworms in that they feed exclusively on a single species of tree, the Trevo/Tebro/Trebo/Tebo, Dasyphyllum diacanthoides.
C. moorei are exclusively found in Chile, and are considered a possibly invasive species. When shipped out of Chile, C. moorei larvae are irradiated to kill parasites, and, it is speculated, to prevent them from pupating. I have seen websites contradicting this, and claiming that the reason C. moorei larvae don't pupate in captivity is that they have a nearly 6 year larval stage, but this has come from only a few small, un-notable sources. For whatever reason C. moorei can't pupate outside of Chile, the fact keeps them a lucrative export for the country, frustrates hobbyists like myself, and prevents C. moorei from becoming one of the premier feeder insects available.
Butterworms, like all of the popular "worms" available as feeders, are actually the larval stage of an insect. In the case of butterworms the adult stage is the Chilean Moth, Chilecomadia moorei; they are also called the Trevo- and Tebro- worm (and even a few instances of Tebo- and Trebo), and are like silkworms in that they feed exclusively on a single species of tree, the Trevo/Tebro/Trebo/Tebo, Dasyphyllum diacanthoides.
C. moorei are exclusively found in Chile, and are considered a possibly invasive species. When shipped out of Chile, C. moorei larvae are irradiated to kill parasites, and, it is speculated, to prevent them from pupating. I have seen websites contradicting this, and claiming that the reason C. moorei larvae don't pupate in captivity is that they have a nearly 6 year larval stage, but this has come from only a few small, un-notable sources. For whatever reason C. moorei can't pupate outside of Chile, the fact keeps them a lucrative export for the country, frustrates hobbyists like myself, and prevents C. moorei from becoming one of the premier feeder insects available.
Stealing Good Ideas
After excitedly relaying the concept of Drunk History to Karen, she came back with perhaps the greatest idea ever: Drunk Biology.
Here's the concept: I drink an excessive amount, Karen is on standby with a video camera. When I've imbibed enough alcohol to shame a pirate we turn on a camera and I do my best to extol the wonders of a particular critter which I find fascinating. Starter ideas include tarantulas, cephalopods, various feeder insects, and guinea pigs (I am not a fan of guinea pigs).
Unfortunately we're lacking famous actors to portray the species of choice. Karen's thought is crummy animation, but I suspect that neither of us possess the ability to make even crummy animation. We may have to settle with props and pics.
I am excited for this. Expect it to start sometime over the next few months.
Here's the concept: I drink an excessive amount, Karen is on standby with a video camera. When I've imbibed enough alcohol to shame a pirate we turn on a camera and I do my best to extol the wonders of a particular critter which I find fascinating. Starter ideas include tarantulas, cephalopods, various feeder insects, and guinea pigs (I am not a fan of guinea pigs).
Unfortunately we're lacking famous actors to portray the species of choice. Karen's thought is crummy animation, but I suspect that neither of us possess the ability to make even crummy animation. We may have to settle with props and pics.
I am excited for this. Expect it to start sometime over the next few months.
On the Keeping of Tarantulas
When I mention that I have tarantulas, there are rare occasions where the first reaction is not an expression of befuddlement. These unlikely times I instead will be met with "Wow! I've always wanted a tarantula!"
Hearing such a phrase tickles me greatly, primarily because it means that I have just found someone who will listen to me rant about the astounding nature of theraphosid spiders. On a less egotisitical level I am pleased to know that yet another person may be sucked into the hobby.
Luckily for those so intrigued, keeping tarantulas is a simple matter, requiring only a small container and a suitable food source. All that remains is minimal effort and the joys of observance. The hardest part of the process comes down to deciding which species most piques your interest.
Hearing such a phrase tickles me greatly, primarily because it means that I have just found someone who will listen to me rant about the astounding nature of theraphosid spiders. On a less egotisitical level I am pleased to know that yet another person may be sucked into the hobby.
Luckily for those so intrigued, keeping tarantulas is a simple matter, requiring only a small container and a suitable food source. All that remains is minimal effort and the joys of observance. The hardest part of the process comes down to deciding which species most piques your interest.
An Introduction to Tarantulas
Having talked about bugs and reptiles, I have only grazed the surface of kept animals that give common people the willies.
Few creatures on earth inspire undeserved fear than do spiders, and among spiders tarantulas stand as exemplars of terror. This is, of course, due to a lack of education among the masses, with a hearty supplement from media exploitation. Films are especially guilty of spreading misinformation and fear about spiders, and while fantasy is wonderful, when people don't know fact from fiction innocent creatures suffer. Such was the fate of sharks after Jaws, and spiders after Arachnophobia. Both are movies I enjoy watching, but abhor for the damage they've done to their associated animals.
In an effort to undo some of the harm that lack of education has done to tarantulas, I'm going to offer a primer on the large spiders.
First, what makes a tarantula?
Few creatures on earth inspire undeserved fear than do spiders, and among spiders tarantulas stand as exemplars of terror. This is, of course, due to a lack of education among the masses, with a hearty supplement from media exploitation. Films are especially guilty of spreading misinformation and fear about spiders, and while fantasy is wonderful, when people don't know fact from fiction innocent creatures suffer. Such was the fate of sharks after Jaws, and spiders after Arachnophobia. Both are movies I enjoy watching, but abhor for the damage they've done to their associated animals.
In an effort to undo some of the harm that lack of education has done to tarantulas, I'm going to offer a primer on the large spiders.
First, what makes a tarantula?
Projects
I've been thinking about the blog, really I have, but each time I've sat to write I've been too impatient to let an idea carry itself to fruition. I do have a post on veterinary ethics started, but it likely will not see the light of day for quite a while yet.
In a desperate attempt at keeping the blog going I'm going to delve into some of the projects I have in mind for the coming year, critter-wise. These range from simple to complex, and free to expensive. Some are dependent on time, others on cash-flow. In any case, I happen to think they're all quite neat and do bear some mention ahead of time, if for no other reason than to ensure that they keep my interest.
In a desperate attempt at keeping the blog going I'm going to delve into some of the projects I have in mind for the coming year, critter-wise. These range from simple to complex, and free to expensive. Some are dependent on time, others on cash-flow. In any case, I happen to think they're all quite neat and do bear some mention ahead of time, if for no other reason than to ensure that they keep my interest.
Insectopia
Keeping insects is likely the only thing in my life I get more confused looks for than keeping reptiles.
Insects, some may say, are uninteresting, icky, and scary. Bugs creep and crawl their way into our homes, fouling our food and nipping at us in our sleep. They are pests, menaces, downright no-goodnicks!
Unfortunately, such is the stigma bestowed upon most "lesser creatures". Insects are tiny and unknowable to most, thus they are pests. As with reptiles, insects suffer for our own lack of education. I'm not going to attempt to give an overview of insects in general, as I'm admittedly pretty uneducated myself on the vastness of entomology. No, what I will be presenting here is some of what I've learned firsthand from my own critters.
I started keeping insects for purely practical reasons. Lizards need to eat, and unfortunately (for most) they often need to eat insects. So I began keeping Crickets.
Insects, some may say, are uninteresting, icky, and scary. Bugs creep and crawl their way into our homes, fouling our food and nipping at us in our sleep. They are pests, menaces, downright no-goodnicks!
Unfortunately, such is the stigma bestowed upon most "lesser creatures". Insects are tiny and unknowable to most, thus they are pests. As with reptiles, insects suffer for our own lack of education. I'm not going to attempt to give an overview of insects in general, as I'm admittedly pretty uneducated myself on the vastness of entomology. No, what I will be presenting here is some of what I've learned firsthand from my own critters.
I started keeping insects for purely practical reasons. Lizards need to eat, and unfortunately (for most) they often need to eat insects. So I began keeping Crickets.
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